Day 25
Never shall I sink again, into the deeper parts of my mind. Simple instances, an itch on my spine.Let go of all thoughts, let go of all doubts. I scream in my head for freedom, but if I demand it I cannot attain it. Lost in the deepest of dreams, when should I leave?
Quitting a habit of toxin, embedded on cloth, let it go. Yet I still swallow what I had once thought of as a friend. Close to my very molecule yet another had left. Another what? Another daffodil, blown in the wind. Spreading it's love through every gust of wind. Landing in a sacred spot, the one that had once been considered a home.
NO! NO! NO! I refuse the bite you take from the dying apple!
Closed, no longer open. I await the key.
Day 24
"Welcome to Terminal __" the poster above the new airport terminal had scribbled on it. Today's my first time to fly, it's weird to think that just a month ago I had moved into my apartment near my favorite cafe. We had decided to move into her place rather than mine, I understand since, well, it's close to work, and since I have my skates, and my bike I can get anywhere I feel like within the city.
Where am I flying to? I have no idea, I'm planning on taking a trip with the girl I moved in with to some place we've never been before, it's a good thing we both have money to do things or else we'd be bored to death in the house.
I'm really glad I can get out of the city for once, I've lived here all my life and I've never been on foreign land. We ask the woman behind the counter what flight is leaving next, she answers with her monotonous voice "Berlin". We take it and wait in the terminal. Small, compact, white, that's how i'd describe this place. A portal to different worlds. Today I wish to enter and experience a new one with her. Our new world named "Berlin"
Where am I flying to? I have no idea, I'm planning on taking a trip with the girl I moved in with to some place we've never been before, it's a good thing we both have money to do things or else we'd be bored to death in the house.
I'm really glad I can get out of the city for once, I've lived here all my life and I've never been on foreign land. We ask the woman behind the counter what flight is leaving next, she answers with her monotonous voice "Berlin". We take it and wait in the terminal. Small, compact, white, that's how i'd describe this place. A portal to different worlds. Today I wish to enter and experience a new one with her. Our new world named "Berlin"
Day 23
A crescent moon, upon the dark sky, grinning at me as I had just shared a day with my beloved tune. A day I commit to the song, not just one, but all. My adoration towards the vibration will never dwindle as the flame in my candle. The silence, torture I refuse to subject my ears to.
But it had never been a tune, nor a song, a melody, instead it had been you. My light to bring me back rather than push me forward, foolishly I follow, yet my mind is filled with no regrets. Where are you leading me? My arrogant solo, opening up the minds of those I see as near or far. Sing, I beg of you my gentle breeze on a beautiful morning. Only your glow may surpass the brightness of the sun. Your radiance, oh how you radiate, a glow that cannot be seen by eyes instead felt by hearts.
Today I get on my knees to ask you one last thing. It may be too late, but only by a day, I humbly ask for your permission rather than a simple question. For simplicity may be hard for one of your stature to endure. I ask that you take a part of my mind, for it is where my true heart belongs. I ask you.
Are you able to be with me without having to see? Or can you just believe that this beat in our hearts will follow each other's pulse? Your rhythm I wish to have, my rhythm I wish to share. Instead of just one day for me to show my affection. I ask if you may take my life, and let my spirit embrace yours.I ask you.
Will you be my butterfly?
But it had never been a tune, nor a song, a melody, instead it had been you. My light to bring me back rather than push me forward, foolishly I follow, yet my mind is filled with no regrets. Where are you leading me? My arrogant solo, opening up the minds of those I see as near or far. Sing, I beg of you my gentle breeze on a beautiful morning. Only your glow may surpass the brightness of the sun. Your radiance, oh how you radiate, a glow that cannot be seen by eyes instead felt by hearts.
Today I get on my knees to ask you one last thing. It may be too late, but only by a day, I humbly ask for your permission rather than a simple question. For simplicity may be hard for one of your stature to endure. I ask that you take a part of my mind, for it is where my true heart belongs. I ask you.
Are you able to be with me without having to see? Or can you just believe that this beat in our hearts will follow each other's pulse? Your rhythm I wish to have, my rhythm I wish to share. Instead of just one day for me to show my affection. I ask if you may take my life, and let my spirit embrace yours.I ask you.
Will you be my butterfly?
Day 22
I follow him everywhere, but I do not show myself. I help him with decisions, yet he still doesn't see me. I show myself to him in different ways, the television program when he just happened to turn on the tv, me, the squirrel in the park that made him realize that he needed to get something at home, me. He doesn't realize it but as I had said before I will always be there for him.
She had been trying to avoid him for awhile, trying to work, she doesn't want to see him because she would get distracted. He over thinks everything and wonders if he had done something wrong. Paranoia hits the best of us in strange ways. It had just so happened to hit him in a way that he thought the squirrel was a sign that she felt like he was eating her life up.
Their eyes still closed as if asleep, but aware like a warrior in slumber. They see everything their eyes can see, but they obviously cannot see me.
She had been trying to avoid him for awhile, trying to work, she doesn't want to see him because she would get distracted. He over thinks everything and wonders if he had done something wrong. Paranoia hits the best of us in strange ways. It had just so happened to hit him in a way that he thought the squirrel was a sign that she felt like he was eating her life up.
Their eyes still closed as if asleep, but aware like a warrior in slumber. They see everything their eyes can see, but they obviously cannot see me.
Day 21
It's been awhile, how are you? I've missed you, I know you haven't heard from me for a long time, but you know I thought that I should probably write you sometime. It's been exactly 11 days since I've had contact with you. Did you disappear or is it just me being paranoid again? I know how illogical it is to be this paranoid.
I remember those times when I'd talk to you while we were picking up some milk from the store, and again it could have just been my paranoia, but everyone was staring at us. It seems so weird that I have no one to talk to now whenever I go out to get some dinner, or when I go to work. It was like you were my father, a great man you were. We had been together for as long as I can remember.
We'd be running around the park wrestling each other in the grass, we really thought we were part of the World Wrestling Federation at the time. It was so weird because those times when we didn't think we were part of it, we had dreamed of being in it.
I hope to hear from you soon my friend, we should really catch up soon. Anyways thank you for everything. It had been a blast my friend.
Alpha Omega.
I remember those times when I'd talk to you while we were picking up some milk from the store, and again it could have just been my paranoia, but everyone was staring at us. It seems so weird that I have no one to talk to now whenever I go out to get some dinner, or when I go to work. It was like you were my father, a great man you were. We had been together for as long as I can remember.
We'd be running around the park wrestling each other in the grass, we really thought we were part of the World Wrestling Federation at the time. It was so weird because those times when we didn't think we were part of it, we had dreamed of being in it.
I hope to hear from you soon my friend, we should really catch up soon. Anyways thank you for everything. It had been a blast my friend.
Alpha Omega.
Last Day
Have you ever felt like destroying something beautiful, taking it apart piece by piece, only to find out that you were not satisfied by it? The little things that ruined the moment of you getting into the minds of others, destroying them from the inside. The people around you telling them not to be around you, your conscience telling you what is right and what is wrong, so many variables, but such is life.
Little boy, little girl, I know you've felt the same as I have, because it had been happening to you ever since the start, and that we share the same thoughts in life. This time I am inviting you to follow in my footsteps, take the noose I left hanging above a chair inside your living room, and accept your fate. Tie it around your neck and step off that chair.
I have given you other options too, the gun in the cabinet, the poison in the syringe, and the razor in the bathroom. Take your pick, I won't stop you, just know that if you choose to stay alive I will not be here anymore. I love you both, and I really enjoyed our lives together.
So destroy something beautiful as you've always wanted to, take that noose and wrap it around your neck, take that gun, put it to your head and fire, take that syringe and inject yourself with it, or take that razor and cut your wrists. This is because you, yourself are beautiful.
Love,
-----~~~~``~~
Little boy, little girl, I know you've felt the same as I have, because it had been happening to you ever since the start, and that we share the same thoughts in life. This time I am inviting you to follow in my footsteps, take the noose I left hanging above a chair inside your living room, and accept your fate. Tie it around your neck and step off that chair.
I have given you other options too, the gun in the cabinet, the poison in the syringe, and the razor in the bathroom. Take your pick, I won't stop you, just know that if you choose to stay alive I will not be here anymore. I love you both, and I really enjoyed our lives together.
So destroy something beautiful as you've always wanted to, take that noose and wrap it around your neck, take that gun, put it to your head and fire, take that syringe and inject yourself with it, or take that razor and cut your wrists. This is because you, yourself are beautiful.
Love,
-----~~~~``~~
Day 20
I can feel the hole in my heart, slowly growing larger as I await for the day I see her again. Her bronze hair falling upon her shoulders, her green eyes filled with the secrets I have not been able to decipher, and her very impulsive lifestyle. I would give my life for just one more glace at her beautiful face. It is such a crazy thought that when I first met her I hadn't been as attracted to her as I am till this day.
Another day lost in company to my loneliness, a crowded room of my peers, a pint of beer and a lit cigar "Made in China", filled with nicotine and other chemicals ready to kill you in any second. Disgusting, but very much true. My friends are all around me blowing smoke from all directions, choking me as grain of rice stuck in my throat.
Without her I feel as if I had been overwhelmed by boredom, be it seconds, days, weeks, months, or even years without her, I still have felt the same every time. I feel as if a pimple had grown on my head, slowing growing from pus, pus that had been pumped into my head to take place of my interesting thoughts. Where had my friend gone? The one that had always been there for me. It's as if he had disappeared from my life, ever since she came back the last time, he had been gone. The only man to understand me without even having to say a word, the only man I believed would help me through all of this.
Where are you friend? I thought we would be inseparable, but I guess I must have been proven wrong. I'm sorry for neglecting you, please come back I promise that life will change for the both of us.
Another day lost in company to my loneliness, a crowded room of my peers, a pint of beer and a lit cigar "Made in China", filled with nicotine and other chemicals ready to kill you in any second. Disgusting, but very much true. My friends are all around me blowing smoke from all directions, choking me as grain of rice stuck in my throat.
Without her I feel as if I had been overwhelmed by boredom, be it seconds, days, weeks, months, or even years without her, I still have felt the same every time. I feel as if a pimple had grown on my head, slowing growing from pus, pus that had been pumped into my head to take place of my interesting thoughts. Where had my friend gone? The one that had always been there for me. It's as if he had disappeared from my life, ever since she came back the last time, he had been gone. The only man to understand me without even having to say a word, the only man I believed would help me through all of this.
Where are you friend? I thought we would be inseparable, but I guess I must have been proven wrong. I'm sorry for neglecting you, please come back I promise that life will change for the both of us.
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